Sometimes, your elderly loved one might not want to receive any sort of care. This can make providing elder care very difficult, but that doesn’t make care any less necessary. In fact, if elder care is vehemently unwanted by a loved one, that might make the need for it even greater. It could be a warning sign of dementia, or it could be an indicator that they may be putting themselves in unsafe situations. Either way, having a game plan to take care of something like this is smart. Hopefully it will never be necessary to implement, but it’s a good idea to know what to do anyway.
According to the Mayo Clinic, there are a number of things that you can do to help them. First, you should determine what care is needed at a bare minimum level. You do have a duty to keep your loved one safe, even if they do not want that help. Once you know what those needs are, then you can match them up with what kind of care, if any, is going to be the most helpful. Next, you should approach your loved one with your thoughts. Make sure that they are calm and relaxed when you go to them, and make sure that you have thoroughly researched things so that you can answer any questions that they might have. Be patient with them, as nobody really wants to need help, and be understanding. You love your mom or dad, and you want what’s best for them. Stress this point with both what you say and how you say it. The point is not to cause an argument, but rather to do what’s best for everybody.
It is vital that you get their input at this point. Maybe they know that they need senior care, but are opposed to a nursing home. Maybe they don’t know that there are other types of care than the nursing home. At this point, listen to their concerns. If they don’t want elder care, but are not opposed to an in-home care service providing help and companionship once in a while, be prepared to discuss this with them. There are alternatives, and if they feel that they have a say in the decision making process, then they are far more likely to not fight care any longer.
You may need help from others during this time. Have your other family members talk with your parent about elder care. If it’s necessary, have your loved one’s doctor talk to them about their needs and the best way to approach them. You have resources, and you don’t need to do all of the convincing yourself. You should be getting the help of professionals with this decision anyway, so take advantage of what resources you have.
Through all of this, be patient and don’t give up. Many care services will provide part time assistance, and if you want to just try this with your loved one for a couple weeks or a couple months before making a larger commitment, you can do this, too. This can be a trying time for families, but if you are doing what’s best for your loved one, then you can rest assured that you’re doing the right thing.
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