Taking care of someone you love is a mixed blessing. On one hand, you get to spend time with them, often more time than you would if they were completely healthy and not in need of assistance. On the other hand, they need continuous help just getting through the day, and their health is probably not going to get better. Watching them descend further into a state of need is not an easy thing to watch for anyone, and particularly someone you love and care about.
Time management is a key part of providing the best care possible. Even if you don’t want to admit it, you have other things to take care of besides an elderly parent or grandparent. You have a job, you have other family members, and you have yourself. You need to find a balance and take care of all of these things–yes, even yourself. Finding the right amount of time to spend on each of these things is a necessity.
A good place to start is to make a list of your priorities. Providing care is a priority, as is keeping yourself healthy and providing for your family. You have other things that you need to do, too. Write them all down, and it will make organizing your life a lot easier into the future.
Of course, the big question that comes up now is: what can you do about it? There are a few things, thankfully. First, you can do nothing. This is not the best idea, especially now that you’ve acknowledged that there’s a problem. However, many people are willing to acknowledge a problem and then do nothing about it because it is too “difficult,” or “not right.” But it’s even worse to do nothing, and in effect, not try to make the problem any better. It might take effort up front, but it will pay off in the end by making your life easier.
Next, you can enlist help. You can hire a professional in-home caregiver, or have a trusted friend or family member take shifts with caregiving. This takes some of the burden off of you and allows you to do those other things you need to do. It might be tough being away at first, but the renewed sense with which you will be able to care for and love your parent will be worth the temporary discomfort.
Many people get over this quickly by looking at it from this perspective: taking a few hours each day away from caregiving allows you to provide better care while you are there. It also allows you to get another point of view, and if you go with a professional caregiver, it’s even better. They can give you feedback and let you know what you are doing well, and what needs work. You can leverage this into an opportunity to do even more good for the person you love.
So while it might be a bit hard at first, the rewards for your relative are far better than just going it alone, and this makes it more than worthwhile.
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