Family members play a huge role when it comes to the care of an elderly person. In fact, family often plays the most important role in care, even if a professional in-home care service is used. As anyone who has helped with a loved one’s care in any capacity can attest to, family is the first line of defense when it comes to care, advocating, emergency management, and much more. The problem with all of this is that most family members feel like they don’t know what they are doing when it comes to navigating senior care. This is unfortunate because of the role that family does play.
This feeling of helplessness resonates strongly when it comes to those of us who have a family member that is grappling with a chronic illness like diabetes or heart failure, to name a few. Home caregivers that fall into this category find that their role can be especially frustrating. Even if they know what they are doing as a caregiver, the feeling of not being able to make things better for a loved one can be overwhelming. It can make us feel like we are not doing what we need to do, and it can cause a whole host of negatively charged emotions.
First and foremost, it’s important that we address the emotional side of this. Having a loved one that we can’t fully help is hard. It’s understandable that frustration and even depression can spring from this. That doesn’t mean that what we are doing isn’t helpful, though. In a way, these feelings can be deceptive. Even if we feel helpless, we really aren’t. In fact, that is a common theme with the aging process. Acknowledging this can help us to overcome those not-quite-true emotions, and be a great caregiver–or whatever other role we might play in our loved one’s senior care.
Studies confirm that this feeling of helplessness is perfectly normal, and not always well founded. A majority of family members expressed that they wished they had a more thorough understanding of their loved one’s illness and that they could play a more active role in helping them. However, this last point isn’t always easy to do, and it doesn’t need to mean that you are taking over as the primary caregiver. You likely have a job and other duties, and caring full time for your mom or dad isn’t going to be realistic in most cases. A better understanding of what we can do to help is important, but we need to think about the big picture while doing so.
Hopefully, this brief explanation has helped you to feel more comfortable with your mom, dad, or grandparent’s care. Senior care is complex, and it can be overwhelming. But that doesn’t mean that you don’t play a vital role in the process. Acting as a voice for your family member–regardless of what other steps you take part in–can go a long way toward helping your loved one know that they are loved and receiving the best care possible.
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