When you’re caring for an elderly parent or grandparent, your approach to their care should be similar to what a professional caregiver would employ. You have your own motives for helping them, and there’s no point in trying to deny those. You love your family without question, and you would do anything that you can to help them. However, love and care, although very noble things, are not quite enough to provide a high level of care for someone. They are a starting point, but many people need much more than this to stay as safe and as healthy as they deserve to be.
Caring for a loved one can be seen in two different ways. One, as the child or grandchild of the person in need, you have a far higher level of attachment and love for the person that you are caring for than a professional could ever have. That’s the big benefit of being a family caregiver, and even the most compassionate, thoughtful, and loving of professional caregivers are likely not going to come close to approaching the deep love that you have for your family. The opposite side of this is that there’s a strong chance that you do not have the necessary skills and knowledge to provide a professional level of care on your own. You have the desire and the love, and that’s a great starting place, but it’s not always enough to give you the background that you need to provide professional level care.
In many cases, this is completely okay. You don’t need to have professional training to help your mom or dad prepare their meals or get them in and out of bed in the morning. But what if an emergency were to occur? What if they were to suffer from an unexpected stroke or fall in the shower? Would you know what to do? Having a professional caregiver helping with a loved one is not about replacing you, but rather about keeping your mom or dad safe and comfortable. A professional has this emergency training, and they have the experience and know how to ensure that an emergency situation is handled correctly and as quickly as possible. A pro can even spot things that you might never pick up on, too. This includes recognizing the early signs of Alzheimer’s disease, spotting high blood pressure, and other health concerns that you are most likely not trained to notice.
The important thing is to find a balance between these two extremes. You want your parent in need to be both well loved and well cared for. If hiring a professional in-home caregiver or even using a respite caregiver once in a while is what you need to accomplish this, then that is a fair tradeoff. You are not sacrificing love to give them care when you do this, but rather looking at their needs from a more informed point of view and using your love for them to make sure that they are getting the best of both of these things. It’s not a sacrifice at all, but rather incorporating better practices into your own care for them.
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