The best way to care for your loved ones is to provide for their needs in the way that makes them feel the most comfortable. This is obvious to many, but hardly ever easy to do. For example, what do you do when an elderly loved one starts needing help getting around the house, but doesn’t want to accept any care?
This is an extremely tricky situation, even for the most conscientious family member. The answer, though, is dependent upon the mental state of your elderly loved one. You should approach this differently for someone that is mentally healthy than you would for someone with severe dementia. If you have a parent with Alzheimer’s disease, you will need to take steps to ensure that they remain safe, even if they adamantly refuse to accept the help you give. Their safety is important, and seeing them unhappy will be hard, but it is something that you need to do to make sure that they remain safe and as healthy as possible. If a nursing home is necessary, as tough as it might be, it is something that you will need to do in order to do the right thing.
The problem occurs when your loved one is mentally fit and they refuse care. If this is the case, you need to make sacrifices on your end. There are many consolations that can be made, and in-home care has become one of the more popular ones. It definitely is a form of care, but it is administered in the comfort of the person in need’s own home only during the hours that they need it. If help is only needed during meal and bathing times, for example, a caregiver can come, spend a few hours helping out and preparing the things that are needed, and the rest of the time, their time is their own. They don’t need to move out of their home, and they don’t need to make a lot of life changes. It’s supervision, but it is minimal and often much more appreciated than any other type of care there is.
In the end, you need to respect your family member’s wishes. If they do not want care, and they are legally able to make their own decisions, then they have the final word, even if you think that their decision is wrong. It’s a very tough situation, but they are their own person and responsible for themselves. You can give advice, you can give support, and you can give love. But you cannot force them to do something that they do not want to do if they have the legal capacity to make their own choices. This can be extremely difficult from a grown child’s perspective, but it is something that many adults must go through as their elderly parents adjust to their newfound set of needs. Aging is not easy, but it is a fact of life. You have a duty to keep your loved one safe, but you also have a duty to keep them happy, too. In the end, you need to find the best balance possible.
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