We’ve talked a lot about being prepared when it comes to caring for an older parent. Preparedness is important, yes, but it misses out on a key component that is essential to the happiness of your mom or dad: love. Because you have a deep respect for your family and love them, you can’t coldly detach yourself from the senior care process. Yes, certain needs should always be addressed first, but this doesn’t mean that the human element can be taken out of finding the best care.
So, while it might be easy to just go with a nursing home, this doesn’t mean that it’s the right thing to do, especially if your loved one’s needs are not very severe. Nursing homes can be helpful in many instances, but certainly not in all. Furthermore, some nursing homes are understaffed, and the residents that live there often do not have the amount of attention that they need to thrive. If you are able to, you should give your loved one the type of care that they desire most.
If your loved one has dementia or Alzheimer’s disease, you might not be able to ask them what kind of care they want. This is why it’s important to try and have this discussion as early as possible. This way, there’s no confusion and no debate about what their wishes actually are. Some families find it helpful to have an advance directive or a living will in order to make it perfectly clear what types of care or medical treatments they wash to have, and which they wish to avoid. In cases of advanced dementia, or if things worsen to a point where they cannot make their own decisions, you will know exactly what to do. There will be no gray area and nothing left unknown. In these instances, care becomes easier to administer because it’s all laid out for you beforehand. Advance directives are legal documents, and once they are appropriately filed and registered with authorities, then they become binding. It’s important that these are begun before any sort of dementia sets in in order for them to be enforceable and to make sure that they will hold up in a court of law, if an extreme case occurs..
Honoring the wishes of your parent is a great way to show them that you love them. It ensures that they are getting the appropriate care in a way that they endorse. It also makes your life easier because the decision making process is simplified. Rather than feeling guilt about not being able to care for them on your own, or for choosing the wrong type of care, you are doing what they want. It also helps you to feel better when they do complain about the care that they are getting. This is common when someone has dementia, and if you know for certain that they are getting what they truly wanted before their memory issues began, a big burden is lifted off of your conscience.
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