Talking with an older loved one about their need for senior living is never easy. This is something that I’ve written about in the past. Even during times of normalcy, this is seldom a conversation that anyone wants to have with a loved one. There might even be hostility toward the idea of moving away or into a care facility. Admittedly, this is not a fun thing to hear. No one wants to hear that they have been declining mentally or physically. No one wants to hear that they might need help with something that has always been second nature to them.
During the COVID-19 pandemic, it might even be more difficult to have this conversation. Not only is it a tough thing to talk about alone, taking the uncertainty and danger of the coronavirus into account can make it that much tougher. No one wants to move away from the comfort of home and into the unknown during this time.
This is a conversation that needs to be handled with sensitivity. It’s a conversation that needs to be handled with love and empathy. If you haven’t spoken about feelings toward care, that is a good first step. Ask your mom or dad about their attitude regarding senior care. Help answer their questions, if you’re able to. Explain to them that there are several types of care, and that a nursing home isn’t the only option that they have in front of them. If having a professional have this talk with your family will be more helpful, feel free to reach out to us. We offer free senior care consultations designed to answer these types of questions.
Having others involved in the conversation can be helpful, too. If you have siblings or others that are close to your parents, get their opinion on how care might be helpful. If you think it will help, they can even be present when the conversation is happening. Be careful with this, though. It can easily feel like you are ganging up on your mom or dad if there are several people present for the conversation. Sometimes, a one on one atmosphere is more natural, and thus more producing. You know your loved ones better than anyone else, so use your personal judgment on this. Family is important, but if it’s going to make things feel like a bullying session, smaller is better.
Focusing on the positives of senior care will help, too. There are negatives about moving out of the home, but not all types of care involve this. Know the different types of care that might be of benefit, and know how they will help. You can’t change anyone’s mind if you can’t explain the benefits of doing so.
Finally, don’t forget that this isn’t a conversation that needs to happen all at once. One of the things that I have observed is that sometimes, the gradual lead up to the conversation is the most important component. Talking with your parent about their health and how they can be kept safe and healthy on an ongoing basis is important, long before some sort of more advanced senior care is needed. This way, if senior care becomes necessary, it is a much easier topic to bring up.
Leave a Reply