Almost twenty years ago, my grandfather announced that he was getting married. None of us had ever met the person that he was engaged to. She moved in with him and he stopped talking to a lot of his family. He was 90 years old then.
Before this, he was already showing some of the warning signs of dementia. Shortly after this woman moved in with him, he received an official diagnosis of Alzheimer’s disease. He passed away less than a year later.
My family’s situation could have been much worse than it actually was. The woman my grandpa had moved in with him was looking for a friend, and he was looking for a companion. There was no ill intent, although some of us were very suspicious of her at first. They were both elderly and lonely and looking for someone to be close to. There was no contesting of a will or estate and although it was hard to see my grandpa in a situation like that, it ended up being something that made him a little happier during his final weeks.
Marriage during senior years isn’t a universal experience. Certainly, this topic won’t impact everyone. Remarriage, or even a first marriage, in the senior years is growing in prevalence, though. For this reason, I decided that it was worthy of a brief look. Odds are, someone that’s reading this will face this topic within their family at some point.
Talking things through with a loved one can help them to better determine whether marriage really is the best choice. It’s normal for things to be heated at times, especially if your older parent feels like they are being questioned or attacked about their decision. But if you approach it in love and understanding, you will see the walls of resistance fall. And they will be a lot more likely to talk through their decisions with you.
Unfortunately, not everyone has the same support structure that my grandpa had. Not everyone has family members that are concerned about them being taken advantage of. Sometimes, situations like this can be potentially abusive relationships. Having multiple sets of eyes on someone increases accountability and helps to minimize the risk of an abusive situation. When family and friends aren’t available to help out, a professional care service can sometimes be helpful. Even if marriage isn’t on the table, more eyes on a loved one can help reduce the risk of accidents, injury, and self neglect. This is one of the many benefits of senior care.
If you have questions about senior care and how it can be used to help prevent elder abuse, please don’t hesitate to reach out. We’d love to talk more, but we’re not the only resource out there. Give us a call or get in touch with another care service that you trust. There are a lot of great people and services out there that can help get you steered down the right path so you can help your family live out their best years as they age.
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