Sometimes, family caregivers find themselves in a position that they do not want to be in. When a family member needs assistance, oftentimes a member of the family will find themselves expected to take charge and lead the way when it comes to helping them out. This person might be unable to fully devote themselves to their loved one and the time requirements that this necessitates. Others might not feel strongly enough about their family member to want to spend this much time caring for them. In many families, there are many unresolved issues, and there are cases where abuse of some sort might have been an issue. If you find yourself in a situation like this, how do you handle it?
First of all, there might not always be a restriction forcing you to be the sole caregiver for a family member. Just because no one else can provide care for them does not mean that you are forced to do so. This may alter slightly if there are any advance directives that you may have signed in order to help keep your family members cared for. If you have already been given power of attorney by the person in need of care, this situation may become even more difficult.
If an advance directive has been signed or you have power of attorney over your family member in need, it is important that you speak with an attorney to see what the necessary course of action is. If you truly have an issue with caring for a loved one and there is some sort of legal impetus for you to do so in place, then you need to follow the proper course of action so that problems are not magnified. Be honest with your attorney about the situation and why you will not be the best choice of a caregiver for your family member.
There are other avenues that can be pursued rather than being a caregiver to a family member. First, check with other trusted family members to see what they can do if and if they have any recommendations for you. If this doesn’t yield any results, spend some time looking into senior care for them. Just because you may not feel comfortable providing care for someone who has been unpleasant to you in the past does not mean that they do not deserve to be helped out be a professional caregiver. If finances are a problem, then they may require Medi-Cal in order to get the assistance that they need. This will limit the choices that they have as far as care goes, but it will ensure that they receive help and it will take the unwanted burden off of you. If they do not qualify for Medi-Cal, then this may be an issue left to their attorney, or if all else fails, get in touch with your local senior services department and alert them to the fact that your family member is in need and doesn’t have the support needed to stay safe and healthy on their own. Again, if you have any questions, it is always best to consult with an attorney first.
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